measi's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Holiday ponderings Well, I've done some sprucing around the DX journal-- fixed some links, updated some side pages... added the dreaded recipe page with what we ate on Christmas Eve, along with a couple other things I've made in the past... :) I still have some sprucing to do, but at least it gets that blasted "come back the week of September 15th" announcement off the top left corner. The weekend went along well-- I got some of the projects done that I wanted to complete. Some are still in the works. Others haven't been started yet. I took advantage of a lot of relaxing time, which I needed badly. Four days is blissful-- a day to get work done, and then you can play. :) If all goes well, I'll be in great shape come next Monday with house projects. For Christmas Day, Erich and I headed over to his dad's house in the afternoon to open gifts and eat nibbler munchies. Erich's parents were both very generous, giving me a couple of nice presents each. :) We played Monopoly into the evening, and then headed home for what was supposed to be a romantic evening, but those joys of being female decided to give me a Christmas evening present. *sigh* So much for romance under the light of the tree... Speaking of which, the tree had to come down Friday. Gus just had been abusing it far too much this year, and I couldn't take any more of it. The past three weeks have been spent yelling at the cat to get out of the tree. So Friday night we spent wrapping ornaments into our new, easier to identify green and red Rubbermaid ornament tubs (heh... they think of everything, no?). On Saturday morning, Erich hoisted the tree over the balcony, and dragged it over to the dumpster. It saddens me, but at the same time, we had to do it-- the poor thing was long dead and tinder dry. Gus had just obliterated it. Broken branches everywhere... shards of ornaments by the baseboards. *sigh* It was a beautiful tree when we brought it in. Hopefully he'll calm down by next year and act like the other cats-- occasionally sniffing and branches, maybe eating a needle or two, but otherwise not caring at all about the temporary big thing in the corner. And to be honest, I never really felt much of the holiday spirit this year. A lot had to do with my grandma's death, and even more had to do with my dad. It's been a year now-- I haven't spoken to my father in a year, save the letter I wrote to him last March. Depression has been a large part of this year's holiday. While LGM has been more than open about his moodiness with his father's death in February, I've tried to hold mine away from others. I finally broke while going to pick Erich up last Monday or Tuesday at the Braintree T-- the thoughts of my dad were just swirling in my head as I drove, and by the time I picked up Erich, I was on the verge of tears. As always, I refuse to allow myself to bawl, however-- so the entire ride back home, I was fighting against them, crying silently as I stared out the window. Erich kept giving me little reassuring hand or thigh squeezes as he drove. I did, surprisingly, get a gift from my dad on Saturday-- a coffee table book. On the inside cover is "Merry Christmas 2003. We love you, Dad and Anne." No other note, no card. Nothing. My letter and all of my feelings from March have been ignored and shut away with no response. So I've thumbed through the book a few times absently- it's pretty photos of the feral cat colonies in the Greek islands. But as much as I appreciate the gift, I know I'm an afterthought for him now. It's an odd mix of feelings that I don't like-- the appreciation of any thought at all, but the anger that I've otherwise been ignored for a year. Not sure what I'm putting in the thank-you note yet. So I'm off to do a quiet three days of data entry and cubicle tidying.... and probably at least a couple more journal entries. Goddess knows I have the time right now. :) ~ Mel.
11:16 a.m. - 29 December 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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