measi's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Journal Prompt: Write a letter to yourself as a child Dear Measi~ You know that dream you keep having when you're getting bored during Reading in school? About what you're going to be like when you're older? About who you'll be, and what you'll be doing? Hiya. I'm you. Twenty years from now. I'm writing to you to give you some good and some bad news. Stuff you'll be surprised to hear, and things that you probably won't be so surprised about. And things that I know you'll be really, really relieved about. Honest. First off-- when you're twenty-eight, you're not the person that everyone in the world hates anymore. You're not completely alone, and you're not completely misunderstood. You are loved-- by a boy, even, despite everything Joe Krueger's telling you at recess. And you know what? You're loved by a boy that even has HIS last name. Same spelling and all. His name is Erich. I know-- I hope he's not a relative of Joe's either. I doubt he is. Really. Things are going to get a bit rocky for a while. You've got a lot of rough years ahead of you. Try to come to terms with it as soon as you can, because there is a lot you're going to see, and some of it is really hard, painful stuff. Other things will seem really bad at the time, but wind up being okay. Believe me... just try to take it all as it comes, and deal with it. And take out that little white Garfield diary Grandma gave you for your birthday this year and write stuff down if you need to to make yourself feel better. In a couple years, you're going to get really tall. You'll be taller than a couple of your teachers, even! And you're going to be the tallest in your class for a bit. But then people will start catching up to you. So enjoy the height while you have it-- because once you get up to 5'4" when you're 11, you're not going to grow too much taller. I'm only 5'5" now. Your parents will separate in four years, just as you enter 7th grade. I know you'll want them to get back together, but it's not going to happen. And honestly, it's a good thing for both of your parents. You're going to watch your mom become a beautiful, strong woman who isn't afraid to stand up for herself. She's going to live in California for many years, and you'll love going there to visit her. It's very pretty. You'll even see the house in Dublin that Mom and Dad lived in when you were born and they brought you home. You'll have a lot of good memories of California. You're going to see so many places when you're there. And when you're fourteen, Mom's going to let you go into San Francisco for the afternoon by yourself so you can go school shopping, and it's going to be one of your favorite memories. But just to warn you... there's a really cool circular escalator at a store called Nordstrom's there. Don't stay on it for a half-hour like I did, because the mall police guy got a little mad. You'll love riding the trolley down to the Wharf. Make sure to stand on the inside so you can touch the people on the car going the opposite way. It's kinda scary, but really fun. Your relationship with your dad is going to get really good for a while, and then when you get to college, you'll go through some rocky times with him. Try to talk to him as soon as you can. Don't wait until you're my age, like I did. It doesn't seem to turn out too well. And Scott? You'll get your wish that he isn't around anymore too often. He's still okay, but he lives far away and you won't have to deal with him too much. It gets better. Honest. When you're twelve, you're also going to get braces and glasses within a month of each other. I know you'll feel horribly ugly, but don't worry about it too much. The braces will come off when you're 17. You'll go through a really nasty session of getting teeth pulled-- try to relax with the novacaine. I know you're terrified of needles, but they're going to have to give you a lot of shots, and the more you move, the worse it'll be. You'll go through surgery, too, because they're going adjust the length of your lower jaw and make it an inch longer. Andrea will come and spend a lot of the time with you there, so make sure to give her extra hugs because she really does love you like a sister. And don't try to eat the jello, because your jaw is going to be wired shut and it won't go through the straw. And no, you won't be some weird robot when they put the metal plates on your jaw. In fact, you'll forget about them most of the time once you're in college, except when you go see the dentist and when you go through the metal thing at the airport and make it beep. The glasses you'll get used to. But if it helps any-- you'll get contacts right away. They'll make your eyes a really pretty color of blue. And for a while, you're only going to have one because only your right eye will need glasses. It's kinda fun, and you can freak out Andrea by rolling that contact lens around on your eye. She makes this weird scream whenever you do that. At least they'll finally believe you when you tell them you can't see the chalkboard. Just make sure to start squinting and complaining of headaches once you're in 6th grade-- because they're going to ignore you until then. That's what I did. It helped me see a lot better. Make sure that Mom sees a poem you're going to write late next year. It'll be about Katie because she's going to be going away for a very long time, and you're going to miss her. It's a good thing, though- she'll be waiting for you in a place that Mom and Dad have described as "Doggie Heaven." You know she's been sick for a while, so it's a good thing for her-- she'll be able to run around again. But she will be there, waiting for you until you can be with her and play with her. Mom keeps that poem forever. And she'll encourage you to write more because you give this to her. Make sure you keep writing. You'll love doing it once you don't have to deal with writing in cursive anymore. I promise. It's a lot of fun. And a lot less messy than those art projects you have to do and hate. I hate them too. Art isn't fun, is it? Here are some of the things you're doing now that you'll still love when you're 28: writing to penpals (you'll have a lot of them from all over the world!), cross-stitching, reading, cats (you have two now... Colley and Fizzy), and exploring new places. You'll be able to go on a subway train for the first time when you start college in Boston. You'll love Boston a lot. In fact, you decide to stay there. It's a lot snowier than Billings is, and gets a lot colder in the winter, but you'll be near the ocean and you're going to discover a lot of fun new places when you're here. And you'll be able to do whatever you want. You're going to try to play a lot of different musical instruments over the next few years. Next year, you'll start learning how to play the piano, and you'll get pretty good, although your fingers won't be long enough to play a lot of the tough pieces because you won't be able to reach what's called an octave. Then you'll join the elementary school orchestra and play the viola. It's like a violin, but the notes are a bit lower. Andrea will be with you in that class, and she plays the violin. You'll have a lot of fun in orchestra-- you'll be in it through eighth grade, but will quit because the high school teacher is kind of mean. At the end of your junior year of high school, Andrea and one of your other friends is going to make a dare that you won't be able to learn the clarinet well enough to get into the top band in high school. Make sure you take that bet-- because you'll win. And you get to play the bass clarinet and a really big instrument called a contrabass clarinet that's taller than you are. When you play it, it makes your nose tickle and everything in the room seems to shake because the clarinet shakes when you play it. It's really funny, but it makes really cool deep sounds. Keep with that, because you'll play it in college, too. And don't take offense when they ask you to play a big drum in college band. They did it because you can count. It's kinda fun, too. You'll go to a lot of places to perform with the band. You'll even go down to Grandma's once to play in Allentown. Oh-- while I'm thinking about it. Please remember to say that you are a virgin to Joe when you're in fifth grade, okay? He makes a point of teasing you all the time until you leave high school. You don't need to know what the word means and you don't need to be embarrassed that you don't know what it means, but don't say you aren't. Please? It's not a bad word. Honest. Keep looking out over the mountains when you go up to Red Lodge. Also, keep enjoying that view from the Rimrocks when you go climbing in the summer. I know you already find something really peaceful and special about going up there, but you don't know why. I know that you find it easy to pray when you're up there, even if you feel that maybe it's not the right thing to be doing because you're not in church. When you're 18, it's all going to start to make sense. Keep reading that Bible. You'll start to understand some things and make some neat discoveries about yourself that are very, very good. Don't be afraid of the questions that pop into your head. They're okay. They're really good, actually. And keep listening to the wind. I know you can hear it speak to you, even though Mom and Dad tell you it doesn't make sense. You'll start to hear more things when you start to listen to the wind here in Boston. Lovely things. You have a lot of things that will happen to you in the coming years, Measi. And as tough as things might seem sometimes, they work out being good in the end. Just hang in there. And remember you're getting hugs from me. Love, Mel. (thanks to the journal prompts at cetlink.net) 3:32 p.m. - 31 March 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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