measi's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Letter writing for good and bad For a variety of reasons-- the largest of which is just "it's fucking time to get on with it," I've begun writing that letter to my dad. I started a freeverse of thoughts around four-thirty yesterday afternoon, planning to have enough that I could work with to get into some semblance of form this weekend. By five-fifteen, I had four pages, single-spaced, with only a line space between paragraphs. And it's lucid. I guess I had a lot more thoughts formed than I thought I did, but they just needed to be let out. My mind tends to swirl so much that perhaps I just need to let my fingers do the talking, anyway. Hell, I didn't write this quickly for NaNo. What the heck?!? I didn't finish it, and didn't want to leave it in a first-draft form, anyway, so I saved a copy to my computer with a password protect and put it away for the night. I'll work on it again later today, and probably have it sent off tomorrow. Due to the length, I think I'll mail it. And I'll mail it to his office. And then we'll see if he actually reads and listens to me. To be honest, I doubt he will. This letter ultimately is for my own benefit and healing. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I'm sending off a shitload of friendship books and stuff today. I have a feeling that I'll put an all-time one-visit record at the post office tonight. My guess is about $80.00, give or take a few. It's frightening, but hey... I got myself into this mess. Sure, it's killing my spending money for a while, but I'm getting myself organized and the storage place cleaned out. I'm sending a generic letter out to everyone whose letters I find in the piles to apologize for my poor correspondance. I'm doing what I should have done quite a while ago, but honestly I doubt I could have afforded to do so, considering how much more I had to pay for rent. Erich was highly amused by the amount of work that goes into putting the swaps together. I told him that it was mostly because I was sending SO many swaps out at once, and more for my benefit than anything. I've advertised the excess books on livejournal, nervousness, and several yahoogroups. With so many people interested, it's hard to keep track of who was from what source. So I'm just using my livejournal to make announcements and get things moving. And I think with this batch, I'm finally starting to see real progress. What will thrill me, however, is when I go into the storage space come spring thaw and check the rest of the storage tubs and find ONE LEFT. When that happens, I will feel incredible. And quite proud of myself. Because it has been a lot of work that I've put off for so long. And for the record-- I have no clue how I fit all of this shit into The Beast. It absolutely amazes me. No wonder the place always looked like a sty. Eesh. 9:56 a.m. - 26 February 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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