measi's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Knowing my limits I finally had to put my foot down against more responsibilities today at work. More and more gets piled, and I'm so smothered already, I just literally can't handle anything else. At least not for now-- I need to be able to unbury myself. It really pissed the people off. But dammit, if I get any more overloaded here, I'm going to burn out. It doesn't help that today I'm fighting first-day-of-period woes, where the hormone shifts are so nasty that one minute I'm feeling rage and the next I just want to break down crying. I. Just. Can't. Deal. With. Anything. Now. Oh, Roberto, you are a sweetheart. Roberto just came in-- he did a run to Starbucks and brought me an iced chai latt�. Calming drinks. Ahhhhhh.... In all seriousness, I've been more and more frustrated lately, and I think it's just the overall environment at work. We're just obscenely busy because two books were delayed with approvals, yet new projects have started up-- so our workload is just insane. My time is so buried with admin. work that I can't keep up with the rest of the budget work. Once we get settled in the new apartment to a relative degree (hopefully by the end of the weekend), then next week I won't feel as guilty staying late a couple nights and just seeing where I stand here. I have so many blasted piles of crap to get through. It's awful. But in a normal day, I just can't get anywhere. I'm going to need a weekend day. At least a weekend morning. *sigh* I'm starting to believe that I may have to give up the dream of that dangling carrot of a budget planner position. They've talked about it for roughly a year now. I'm not seeing anything come of it, and I feel that I've been pulling away from the admin role thinking I was going this way, and now both jobs are suffering. Maybe I just can't handle all of it. Maybe I'm trying to take on too much. It's that whole problem of trying to please everyone and not being able to say no. I think I've kicked myself in the ass on this one. I don't like doing shitty work, and I feel like I am doing just god-awful work. I think I've just reached the end of my rope as far as what I can take on. I don't like it. Dammit, I want to be invincible. 4:25 p.m. - 17 September 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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