measi's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Pissyness, Measi style The insanity that I managed to avoid at work last week seems to be collecting in my cubicle. I swear, if I weren't allergic to sage, I'd bring in a smudge stick and go to work on cleansing the ickiness out of here. It seems to all be floating my way today, and it's got me on a grumpy streak that was already rooted by the time I got in the office today due to that wonderful monthly visitor, el periodo. I hate being a female for about five to seven days every month. Absolutely fucking hate it. And at the same time, I dread when this damned monthly "joy" is over, because I've heard that the aftermath of menopause isn't that great either. Can I be ten again? The year before all of this disaster started? I swear... especially on the first couple days of my period, I feel like everyone's pointing and whispering at me. Maybe it's because when I first got my period, they actually did. I mean... how many eleven year-old girls (we're talking fifth grade here) are menstruating? The paranoia of having blood leaks on clothing-- which did and occasionally do still happen, the cramps that make you want to crawl into a hole and just disappear for a while (even with Aleve, which gives me that dull ache, but still gittery, icky feeling of being in pain), and the CONSTANT worry of having some sort of menstrual accident, whatever that might be... I just fucking hate this. It doesn't help that I'm trying to deal with my emotions being in total overhaul, which I understand is completely hormonal, but it still doesn't seem to get rid of them. I want to be able to simply state "I disbelieve...." and make them go away. But they don't. So I have to grit through them, and deal with the pissy attitudes from some of the manager-level people who worked on prototypes last week, dumped their work on me, and now are getting irritated with me because I, having never been trained on said work, didn't do it correctly-- despite the fact that I stated last week that I didn't know how to do said work. Grrrrrrrrr..... I need chocolate. A whole big fucking barrel full. Gimme. Now. 3:17 p.m. - 19 February 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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