measi's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- it's been.. one week since I brought him home Fizzy is doing fine. Colley's having a rougher time, but all things considered is doing okay. What looked like doing perfectly earlier this week has reverted back into some more territorial stuff. I guess it's more that Colley's irritated at the hyperness and meddlesome aspect of baby kittenhood. Anytime Colley walks by the little guy, Fizzy attempts to swipe at him, or pounce on him. The kitten wants to play. Colley's not sure what to make of this, or he gets a bit irritated. Last night Colley decided to "pounce" back on Fizzy, and between the body size difference and all of Colley's fur, he ENVELOPED Fizzy. He just disappeared as Colley curled around him to bat at him. (I did rescue the kitten from that plight... Colley's a big cat, and I didn't want him to be too hard on the little guy). I think Colley still thinks Fizzy is some sort of toy, or just at least an object for amusement-filled observation, since Colley's common pasttime has been to perch on the corner of the bed or on my extra chair to watch the antics of the little fluffball. Other than last night, one of my bigger problems has been trying to sleep at night. Because Fizzy, like all little kittens, has NO sense of a schedule or routine. So at three a.m., he's on full-speed mode, climbs up to my bed (no small feat-- my boxspring, mattress, and frame are sitting on top of cinder blocks placed longside-up), and starts pouncing on any wrinkle in the pillows, sheets, and comforter he can find. Human body in the way? This does not stop Lich Kitty! He can bounce right over such small speed bumps (of course, claws factor into this bouncing, and my back doesn't appreciate it. Thank god I don't sleep ON my back. I'd really have issues getting clawed right in the breast). I know he doesn't know any better... but I need to sleep! :( So yesterday, I decided that with my paycheck (today), I'd go and buy a kittening pen for overnight. That way he can play, romp around a bit, have access to his food, water, and box, and I can sleep. I think he heard my thoughts, because last night I actually woke up because I hadn't heard ANYTHING all night. I even got up, called for him, and after a few minutes, a sleepy little kitten crawled out from the boxes under my bed. I guess he's found his own little curl-up private space :) So I'm going to wait on the pen a few days and see if he's now starting to fall into the routine that Colley keeps (which is much like mine... only the cat gets more sleep). I went back to bed shortly after Fizzy crawled out, and when I woke up again at 7, he again had crawled under the bed to sleep. I can handle this. :) But on Friday I'm going to go get a throwaway camera, take some photos, and then bring them into work next week to show photos of the cuties. :) Other than cat stuff, life is going okay. Erich and I have had a few good talks about our relationship, and I think he finally is understanding that my request to take things slow is more for my protection and "getting used" to a relationship rather than about him. I'm so worried about getting hurt and feeling like I'm trapped again in a relationship that is only about sex and physical intimacy. I want the emotional first. And while I think Erich is already THERE with the emotional side of things, I'd had to put up so many protective walls the past few years... again... that it's going to take a bit of time to crush the mortar. But I think things are good. I know I'm happy. I think he is, too. I had a long talk on Sunday with LGM about his relationship with Grace and Twillight, and I was thankful to hear him say the words that I've been trying to explain to him both about his relationship standpoint, and I think he finally understands what I went through for so long. He knows that one of his relationships is going to have to end. He's dating Grace and loves and cares for her, but he's in love with Twillight. Not good. I explained to him on Sunday that no matter what happens, if he can't get over his feelings for Twillight (which means he's going to have to let her go and get her out of his life), no woman he ever dates/marries/etc. will ever feel like she is the most important woman in his life. Because Twillight *is* the most important woman, and she's manipulated things to the point that as long as she has LGM feeling the way he does, she never has to reciprocate the feelings. Not to mention the fact that she talks to BOTH LGM and Grace about their relationship (not good... very not good). He's going to have a rough go at it, but it's something he's going to have to deal with, and it'll be a long, bumpy road of self-discovery. I just hope that he realizes, by seeing how I've been coming through, that there is some light at the end of the tunnel. I'm not out of it, but I am seeing the exit hole. --Mel. 1:49 p.m. - 15 August 2001 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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