measi's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Monday morning Jeremy never showed up yesterday. Haven't heard a peep from him since I sent that letter on Friday. *shrug* oh well. I feel a bit bummed, but I also feel good in knowing that if he wasn't going to accept my nervousness, that it was probably a good thing that it ended before we ever met each other. I'm actually feeling pretty good this morning. After last week, the temperature is a bit too cold for my liking, but other than that, I'm doing well. I think spending time with Tony, his girlfriend Rachel, and his roommate, Rei, rather than just being part of the Boston crew, it helped a lot to just feel more connected with things, and a step out of the rut I've been in for so long. I did go gaming on Saturday at JT's up in Nashua on Saturday. And last week, I decided to start a gaming diary to kinda keep that stuff away from here. Some of the stuff will cross over, but I'm using the other one for most of the adventures and my experiences as a gamer. One of the other gamers (Matt) gave Avatar, Wildcard, and me a ride home. We were dropped off about a block from my place. Got out of the car, and immediately the two of them said goodbye and started just walking. Granted, it was almost 1 a.m. I'm sure Wildcard was off to get laid by his girlfriend, and since Avatar just moved into his own place for the first time last week, he was anxious to get home. But it was fitting that on the way home, the guys were talking, I tried to join in, they kinda ignored me, and then just walked away when we were dropped off. It makes me realize that it's just part of the cyle of getting out of college and moving on with life. I've actually known this for a while, but since I didn't see any opportunities to get out of the rut before Tony offered last week to get me to meet his friends... I just tried to delay the inevitable. So I guess the "Boston crew" will become mostly people I see at gaming. The occasional get together. And honestly, I'm not feeling too bad about it. The best way I can describe my reaction is just being at peace with it. I definitely take this as a good thing. At the same time, though, I feel a bit closer to JT and Tan up in Nashua. Tan and I definitely have a funky connection born out of the desire to be goofy once in a while and just drive all of the guys in the gaming group into a squirming fit at our "girliness." I'm hoping that the two of us can spend more time together. I need more girl friends. I think all of the guys are starting to get me into a weird state of mind. Seriously. It's intensifying the geekyness... and not necessarily in a good way. Oh... want to see something absolutely disgusting? Fisch sent this to me this morning... http://www.ouchytheclown.com/welcome.html. Yikes. Scary. I've been invited to a full moon ritual tonight at DJ's up in Wakefield. DJ is a fellow Pagan that I met last... oh, September (?) at a full moon ritual along with a girl named Raven that I was hanging out with at the time. He was kind enough to give me a ride home afterwards, and the two of us talked about random stuff. I never was able to go to that group's full moon rituals again--schedule and illness conflicts, and then the two people who hosted the rituals broke up (so no apartment left). Now DJ wants to start up a very casual, "unled" group for occasional rituals. I want to go, and I let him know that. I emailed him yesterday to arrange to get together with him this evening (for a ride) since he's in Boston today. Otherwise I can take the commuter rail up to Wakefield... but he'll have to give directions to his house. One way or another, I want to be able to get to these things. I've been so bad about slacking on my faith, and the best way to remotivate myself is to get involved with others for some inspiration. I just need to get myself out of the house. Before I keep rambling, I'd better go and get some work done. Off to the data entry.... --Mel. 9:57 a.m. - 7 May 2001 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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