measi's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fantasy vs. Reality Yesterday I had a very frightening day of not being able to divide fantasy from reality, and it snapped me so hard that I was sobbing for almost an hour before I finally calmed down enough to sleep. It scared the shit out of me, especially with how stupid the reason was. Ready? I had to retire one of my roleplaying characters for Heroes. Seriously. That's the entire reason. Nothing else. Zippo. (well, probably not... I have had some frustrations in life that probably were projected off of this). I think it's because this character was one that I personalized with *way* too much, and had for *way* too long (considering the campaign). Bast (yes, based on the Egyptian goddess) was my first Heroes character. I created her in 1996, and managed to keep her alive and develop her until yesterday's Great Reset, where she was given a choice to walk among the gods, or walk among the mortals. And she knew that although she loved being among mortals, she *was* a god. So she chose. And that was it. Done, finished. In only a minute. I was SO angry at LGM for doing that to me that I was screaming at him on the phone last night about it. Hung up on him twice. So now I feel completely and utterly humiliated because it was something so fucking petty. He said he was going to call at work today, and I'm so embarrassed I don't want to talk to him. Me, mentally stable? Riiiiiiiight. --Mel. 10:04 a.m. - 30 April 2001 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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