measi's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- needing a break while digesting lunch After the cats' antics over the past couple days, I slept for about 10 hours last night. I kept waking up, though, and as soon as I was even a bit awake, my mind started to race. I don't even remember anything that I was thinking of. Perhaps it was the equivalent of less-than-perfect cassette recorders--when you press stop (or even play), sometimes the sound on them goes into high speed for just a second. Maybe it was my dreams going in high-speed. Needless to say, I still feel wiped out. But then again, I've just finished my first Diet Coke for the day, and considering I haven't had any coffee today at all, it's a miracle I'm even awake! Colley was thankfully back to normal this morning. Came up, plopped down on his back, and insisted on chin and tummy rubs. If I stopped scratching for a moment to change the TV with the remote, he meowed to remind me that my attention had gone away from where it was "required." At least I'm not paying the price for bringing in another cat! To switch gears, I'm going to have to have a long talk with LGM about some stuff tonight. We had a bit of an argument yesterday after some things were revealed on Sunday which annoyed Avatar, Wildcard, and I. Yet again, it involves... you guessed it, Grace. Wow, what a surprise, eh? The actual event that set this off was more of a final straw sort of thing (irritated that Grace was allowed to re-roll a new character because she wasn't in the mood to play the one that she had). LGM told us later that he felt he pressured her into playing the character (which of course, he NEVER does to anyone else... but then again, if someone wants to not play a character, he gives them a hard time, too). By itself, it's petty and immaterial and really pointless, but as I told LGM yesterday, "if this were just about the characters, do you really think there would be this much of a fuss?" He admitted I had a good point. He'd emailed Wildcard, Avatar, and me yesterday morning after apparently all three of us had voiced concerns about what went down with Grace. And explained his reasoning, which still sounded a bit vague and skirting issues. Then at the end, he asked for comments or concerns if we felt he was still blatantly showing favoritism so that we could reach a compromise. I emailed him with my feelings, which don't skirt issues because I want him to know exactly how uncomfortable I feel having to deal with this extremely frustrating situation that she's the very needy and melodramatic girlfriend of the DM, and how unenjoyable games become when I have to deal with her at the end of adventures when JT plays. I also explained how this game situation is just another symptom of the larger picture, which is the way he treats all of his friends because he's currently dating Grace. And how everyone is sick of his constant defense of her, when we all know that the same thing would not be offered to us. Well, within five minutes of sending that email to him, he's ripping on me over the phone (and I'm trying to keep my temper and tone down since I sit in the middle of Cubicle Land at work, where voices carry). After a few minutes of the tongue lashing, which he continued to berate me with, I told him that if he was going to rip me a new one after inviting comments, then this conversation was ended, and I was done dealing with him for quite a while. I'm not walking into his self-righteous traps anymore. That calmed him a bit, but he still continued to be condescending, and disagreed with everything that I was saying about what he does to other people, and instead of accepting that yeah, he does these things, he starts laying crap on me to deflect the blame. After about 15 minutes of this conversation that was going nowhere, I told him that I have learned that in the future, when he's opening the floor for comments and concerns, I will not give them, because obviously he doesn't want them. And then I got off the phone. Haven't heard from him since. I emailed him this morning telling him that I had some stuff to discuss with him this evening, and I needed him to call me (since AT&T keeps fucking with my long distance). Looks like we're going to have a little talk tonight. Because if we're going to go through the rounds of him being all-talk and no-action, I really am not in the mood to deal with him anymore. It's bad enough being required to put up with Grace in order to be in his presence. I'm not going to take this shit in order to be his friend, because frankly, his friendship as it currently stands is not worth the grief. He keeps demanding things of me, but doesn't seem to want to change himself at all in return. And I just don't want to deal with that anymore. -Mel. 12:23 p.m. - 4 April 2001 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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