measi's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- thoughts spurred by a letter Just need a change again for a while for my templates on Diary-X and DL. I love the green, but I want to play around a bit and see what some other templates to do inspire some writing. I've been feeling rather flat with inspiration these days. ~~~~~~~~~~ I received a letter over the weekend that's been responded to, but I had to wonder if other people were feeling the same way regarding my lack of response these days... the person who wrote had the impression that she'd done something to offend, which is why I wasn't writing back to her. I explained it to her, and things are cool. But I wanted to just put the words out there for others who might be feeling the same way and wondering why I'm not responding as much to email these days. Well, it's a lot of reasons, actually. But the primary one is simply due to work. It's been so stressful lately. I'm on the phone with vendors from an old office that has closed down, or dealing with emails and people constantly coming into my cube. When I get home, I really don't want to be that social at all. I just want to veg and let my mind shut down. It's nothing personal against anyone-- I'm just going through one of my phases of needing some mental space. Work has been putting me into several situations where my anxiety is just not being cooperative with me. Things that have happened this year also have me going inward a bit. Minorly because of the fiasco with JT and Tan, and much more significantly because of things with my father, a good chunk of me has this tempting feeling to run and hide. I'm not allowing myself to do so, but at the same time, things came with such whomping force. I've just been chugging along, waiting for the day I finally break down from all of it, have my good sob session, and can get on with life. And finally-- I've always been a bit poor at replying to email. I get a bunch of it, but never really have been good about replies. Journaling has made it easier, although I'm still lazy because I feel like I'm always writing online. But I'm not all that great-- you do need to give me all-caps subject lines once in a while to get me to respond. So if anyone was wondering-- it's not you. Like everyone else, there's a lot more going on than I allude to in my journal (or I allude to it so subtlely, that only I... and possibly Erich... will pick up on it). Sorry if I had folks worried about something like that. :( Seriously. You didn't do anything. Plate's just full right now. ~ Mel. 10:16 a.m. - 16 July 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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