measi's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Blessed Lughnassad This is my own entry for the 1000 Journals Anniversary Project. Please-- join up if you'd like to contribute! The journal has plenty of room! It's been nine years. I'm just shy of one decade. And I can't believe it's been that long. As clich�d as the phrase goes, it truly does seem sometimes like it was only yesterday. Nine years ago tonight, I was waiting for midnight to come. I'd made a decision of self-exploration a few months earlier, and had chosen this night. My childhood wicker trunk was in the center of my bedroom. I'd pilfered candles from the Christmas boxes down in the basement, since they were the only ones I knew that were white in the house. I had a small glass of water, a cup generally used to serve melting butter filled with salt, my father's pewter letter opener for an athame, and a circular piece of paper with a hand-drawn pentagram upon it. My first altar. And I was scared out of my mind. Not because I felt this was wrong. I knew it was what was right for me. But it was a huge step into the Unknown. It was a declaration of independence from what I'd been taught as a child. And a huge part of me was terrified that my father was going to open the door to my bedroom, see the impromptu Pagan altar in my bedroom, and blow a gasket. Self-Dedication night. How fast nine years has flown. And how much I have changed, within my faith. I remember picking Lughnassad as my dedication night for a couple of reasons. The first being that out of all of the Sabbats, it was the only one that couldn't be connected to a secular holiday of some sort. The other reason was because it was the only one that I would be able to celebrate at home in Billings, and I felt that it was important for me to dedicate myself while I was home. Home was my grounding point. It still is. I feel centered and reconnected when I go home. It's a time for renewal. For remembering. For celebrating. As I was walking over to the new Barnes & Noble that opened a couple weeks ago in the Pru, I was thinking about an entry that [hooligan] wrote in the last couple days in her online journal. It was a powerful piece of faith and self-exploration. And it was quite fitting for this day in my life, so I began musing about it while waiting for the traffic to stop. I realized that I'm at the end of another cycle of three. And then I connected that cycle of three to my Reiki teachings about the three levels: Reiki I is about exploring the physical aspects of healing. Reiki II the emotional and spiritual. Reiki III is the combination of all, the return to simplicity, and the passing of knowledge to others. Is it pure coincidence that [ade] JUST started really thinking about her own spirituality? Or is this a case of the Gods giving me a swift kick in the ass to start thinking about my own faith again, since there's someone who is at the point that I was, only a decade ago? Out of instinct, I searched the new store for the New Age section, and browsed the selection of Pagan books-- all still in pristine condition and neatly shelved, since the store hasn't been open long enough for the random seekers to plunk down and read right in front of the bookshelves. It honestly looked out of place being so tidy. I suppose I've gotten too used to bookstores having "new" copies of Pagan books that look a bit worn from quick references while shopping. Tan and I had talked about if Ade wanted to explore Paganism, at least she had the two people who could supply her good reading material. The old Silver RavenWolf standby, To Ride a Silver Broomstick came up in discussion. Would I need to keep those from being packed? Nope... Tan's got 'em. But we remembered that the Teen Witch book had been published, and since I was there.... I looked through it. It seemed a bit too hokey to me, and quite frankly, a bit below Ade's reading level. Nope. Not the right book for her. And then I came across one that I hadn't heard of before. But as I skimmed through it, it definitely sounded like the one to get her. Auntie Mel the Witch needs to contribute something for spiritual seekers, right? This one definitely looks like a winner, and browsing through it further over dinner makes me more convinced that it's a great book for people who haven't committed themselves to Paganism (as I feel RavenWolf's book leans more toward). This one is called Paganism: An Introduction to Earth-Centered Religions by Joyce & River Higginbotham. It's Llewellyn, and was published this year. And takes a refreshing NON-traditional stance on Paganism, without the Christian bashing or "this is the one true way of Paganism" that so many books do. I also liked it because it wasn't Wicca specific. It was extremely generic. It had a lot of references to Christianity to show how things were similar and different between Paganism and Christianity. It included examples from other faiths, too. And while it's focusing more on Paganism, the exercises in it are strictly spiritual in a personal sense-- exercises to get a sense of who one is, and what one's beliefs are. This is what Ade needs right now. Something that doesn't lean her any specific way, but will allow her to explore her own spiritual needs, and then go from there as she finds best. It's definitely not coincidence. It's the Gods kicking me in the ass. And that's probably a good thing. :) Blessed Lughnassad, SilverCat 10:13 p.m. - 1 August 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||