measi's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Truth will always be out there... I realize that it's at least a couple years overdue. Even I thought that the X-Files should have ended a couple years ago. But as that final fade to black happened, I could only smile, knowing it was the ending that I wanted to a show that has been an important part of every week to me since 1993. And even though I knew it was over, a small part of me was still hoping for the "Stay tuned for scenes from next week's episode of the X-Files" voiceover. Not to be. I won't spoil the episode. Partially because I know [erich] hasn't seen it, and the long-time online X-Philer in me has learned not to spill episode events online, when it hasn't aired yet on the West Coast. It's now force of habit. Sometime I learned being an X-Phile. Along with a whole lot of other things. The X-Files was the way I learned how to navigate the Internet, and how to deal with the nastiness that is the Internet today. One of the side-products of the X-Files that was completely new and unique was the online community. The show began in the infancy of the Internet as we know it today. Little message boards, mostly on Usenet, accessible only if you had some knowlede of codes to find them. In one little corner, there was a discussion group. And that discussion group's name was alt.tv.x-files. In the first three seasons, there were occasional trolls, but the access to the Internet was still so uncommon, that they were few and far between. Members were civil to each other. ATXF was an online coffeehouse, complete with virtual pillows and the occasional virtual coffee chat. Everyone knew each other only by our screennames. We chatted, we joked, and we relished in a relatively unknown show that was sitting near the bottom of the ratings, but we didn't care at all. As new people came onto the Internet and discovered the group, they were educated quietly on the ettiquette of 'Netspeak, how to cut and paste posts, and were welcomed into the fold. Like all great things, it would not last. The Internet became more expansive and accessible, and the comfy coffeehouse evolved into the catfights and spamfilled message boards that it is today. At the same time, the cohesion of X-Philes was not meant to last, either. What was first just an enjoyment of the show became little factions. The first? Romantics (known as 'Shippers) against the non-romantics (NoRomos). I started off in the 'Shipper camp. I was a college-aged girl with no boyfriend looking for a little love in my lonely life. Living vicariously through the characters on a TV show seemed the most harmless way. After all, I'd done the same with Star Trek: The Next Generation for seven years. Troi and Riker had been my heroes. Now I had Mulder and Scully. But the fights got ugly, and the people became more divided and nastier. The X-Philes themselves became much more pathetic than any of the poor episodes ever written for the show. Jerry Springer couldn't have had such a mitigated disaster on his show. Suddenly, Season 8 was upon the X-Philes, and those who still wanted to watch the show were put into the "not a true fan" folder. Those who had stopped watching called themselves the "Classic" X-Philes, despite the fact that several people still enjoying the show (including me) were longtime fans. It was ugly. And to me, it was the fall of the X-Files. The show had aged, sometimes ungracefully, but ultimately, the episodes were of similar caliber to the original episodes. The expectations were too high. The storylines had become a bit jumbled, particularly with the mythology. But regardless of the inconsistencies, the nastiness of the fans behind the show were what tarnished the show, and sadly what will be remembered by many fans. I've spent the last couple years loving the show, even in its twillight episodes. But I hardly visit message boards. I can't remember the last time I went onto ATXF. I haven't written any fanfic in about two years, not for lack of wanting, but for fear of what X-Philes would do if they read it. In fact, my fears from fanfic comments kept me from doing any writing until I opened this journal last year. Tonight I saw the X-Files that I'd curled up to watch in the dark for the past nine years. My escape from reality for an hour, first on Friday nights, then on Sundays-- watching a character I completely related to (Scully) deal with an insane but adorable man (Mulder). I got the mythology-- I understood it. I figured it out. My friends and family thought I was on crack, both for being able to understand it, and also for getting so addicted to a TV show. It was this escape from reality that helped me through a few of the lonliest, most confused years of my life thus far. To take a break and silence my mind from all of the churning and frustration about who I was and where I was going, and just enjoy some good storytelling. On the X-Files, I saw characters going through a monumental struggle, never quite getting to the goal, but somehow managing to brush off the rubble from the most recent failure, and keep going. Was I crazy to get this sort of message from a TV show? Probably. But it helped, so I refuse to invalidate it. I won't go as far as to say that this show saved my life. It didn't. But it helped a whole hell of a lot. Thanks for the past nine years, X-Files. :) May my episode copies last for a long, long time. --Mel. 11:21 p.m. - 19 May 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||