measi's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- And the days go by~ Yes, I know I'm up at the ungodly hour of 5 a.m. It's shameful, but unlike yesterday's attempt to do the same (for mere laundry), today I've got a reason-- in about an hour and a half, I'm going to be hopping the Acela train to Philly to see my mom for the weekend. Going in swanky style this weekend-- on Mom, of course. I don't have money for the Acela. :) Thanks to my ever-helpful boyfriend, I'm nearly packed this morning. When he drove me home last night, I was nearly asleep on my feet, and he just helped me get stuff together since my brain had officially gone to sleep for the night, even if my body was still upright. I basically have my backpack to pack with all of that "busy shit" that I need to bring on the train to keep me occupied from time to time. Between this morning and Monday, I have 10 hours of train travel. So I'm bringing a smattering of penpal letters, LMAO's, some Tolkein to read, and my bills to do payments on. As of this morning, I'm going to be nearly completely out of debt. Linda and Bigger Boss made a request for a rather hefty bonus for me this year, and it was approved! $3,500 before taxes. I feel Soooooooo much better about life right now. I'm tempted to spend it on crap, but I know that I need to get out of debt. So all of it is going directly to those satanic credit cards that have ruled my soul for the better part of five years. For the first time since college, I'm going to see the light of the tunnel. I might actually be able to afford this apartment this coming summer that [erich] and I talk about. [bar] For the first time in my life, I've kept a consistent journal for a year. I had a journal in college-- a handwritten one with Egyptian hieroglyphs on the cover, that lasted from 1995-1997. But I wasn't consistent in it. I'd write maybe once per month, although entries would be quite long. But it's been a year since I started this journal. And I've written pretty damn consistently. I'm shocked that I've managed to keep it. Perhaps more shocked about how different my life is since my first entry a year ago today. I originally started this journal to vent off the frustrations I was having with LGM and Grace, since at the time I wasn't as close with Tan or JT and felt like I was very much in the "me against the world" situation. But as I got more comfortable, the tone and topics changed. Now my life is so incredibly different than last year. The only things that really seem to not have changed are the place I live and the place I work. (and maybe my weight). Charlene has had an extremely difficult time recently that has left her in a state of confusion/depression, and I recognize it. I was there last year, but on a younger-age level. My problems only concerned my life, but the pain that I was feeling seems quite familiar as I've read her words the last week or so. Our journals are a window to the soul. Sometimes for others, but ultimately, for ourselves. Thank you Stephen for providing this outlet for me. Without doing much for me individually, you've assisted me in solving so many of my own problems, and gaining a sense of self. For those debating whether to start a journal-- do. Use it to get your various thoughts on paper (screen). Use it to vent. Use it to mark things that you thought were funny/goofy/happy/peaceful/stupid, regardless of whatever anyone else thinks. You don't have to be a prolific writer. You don't have to have good grammar, or even write in complete sentences. Lock it if you don't want the world to read, but allow yourself the outlet to express yourself. You simply need to have a mind that wants to go out for a walk. :) And with that, I'll throw some obligatory confetti and wish everyone a happy weekend... it's 6 a.m., and I have a train to catch. See ya Monday! --Mel. 5:38 a.m. - 29 March 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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