measi's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A goodbye to a (I thought) friend Well... I'm not sure if it's autumn, or if it's jumped right to early winter here. Rumor has it that there were snow flurries flying here in Boston early this morning. Ugh. In any case, autumn has attacked with gusto, and it was close to "fucking cold" today for October. I have all my windows shut, and still am freezing. I think it's these window seals. Seriously. In any case, I put the day that I was resigned to take off (for lack of transportation to work) to good use. I cleaned out the bowels of the Beast (*cough* that would be... um... my closet). Got it done and cleaned out a bunch of clothes that have been sitting and rotting in there for a while. They're now in a trash bag awaiting Erich's assistance later this week in hitting a shelter or Goodwill. The rest of the Beast still is rather messy, but I just can't knock any more dust into the air today... I've been coughing quite a bit, and my lungs are feeling a bit tight, and I'd rather NOT kick myself into an asthma attack. So I'm calling it quits for tonight and just going to kick back, order some Chinese for delivery, take a nice long, hot shower, and do some swapping and penpalling stuff... which is, in its own way, cleaning this place. :) But I'm happy with what I got done. I mean, the closet is about 1/4 of my stuff, and a major part of the apartment. Now that it's cleared out and organized, I have room to work out here in my main room. Since the bathroom and kitchen aren't really that bad (they just need regular disinfectant scrubbing), it allows me to concentrate on the main room with all of my energy. * ~~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~~~ * It makes me feel a lot better about things. By cleaning things out here, I can clean out some of the other cobwebs of my life. LGM is becoming one extremely quickly, and I am sad to know that, at least for now, I cannot go on with the b.s. he drops on me all the time. Last Sunday he came over to tell me how he felt, and I asked him on Friday to give me the same courtesy (since he came over unplanned and unannounced). He said that his comments "hadn't really been thought out ahead of time" (which means that I was most likely correct that he was feeding me the same ol' stuff again), and kept skirting around the issue of setting a time today to get together with his "I don't know what I"m doing yet" (which should suggest that he has free time to get together, right?) Along with the fact that I know about the behind the back trash-talking that's happened in the VERY recent future (last 14-21 days or so) by him... and I just don't have the patience to deal with it anymore. In any case, I asked him to call and leave a message by 6 p.m. last night with a time that worked for him, and strongly suggested he call, because my feelings and decisions on the future between us would be greatly swayed by his actions. He didn't call. But apparently wanted to see what Erich was up to tonight after work. This is his usual attempt to have control over the situation: if it isn't just the perfect time for him, he won't participate in it. The other person has to fit into HIS social schedule. Because, after all, the world revolves around LGM, doncha know? *sigh* I'm not playing that game. It's now almost 7 p.m. on Monday. I have to work tomorrow, and I'm not all that inclined to spend the last few hours of my long weekend dealing with him. Sorry, LGM. You had your chance. I have been more than a loyal friend to you and have gone beyond reason to be there for you--particularly since early July, but that loyalty runs out when I'm getting shit back in return. I don't need that kind of "friendship" in my life, and if that's all you're willing to give, I don't need it. Goodbye. 6:16 p.m. - 8 October 2001 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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