measi's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- early summer solitude It's about 9 p.m., it's a beautiful, mild-temp evening outside, and I'm enjoying a peaceful (well... relatively peaceful) evening at home writing, working on my webpages, and trying to occasionally give Colley attention since he's nipping at the backs of my legs to get attention. I came home from work early today. After being at the middle school this morning, I just couldn't get my brain in gear, and by three I had a massive fatigue headache. It didn't help that I went all day without caffeine, either. So when someone offered to drive me back into the city at 4 p.m., I jumped at the idea. Got home at 5. Took a nap. Just what I needed. That means I'm going to have to either go in early tomorrow or stay late tomorrow night. I've already emailed Erich to let him know that tomorrow night might be a bit shaky, but since I'm going to be free all weekend, I asked him if he had any free time sometime on Friday-Sunday. If he's moved into his new apartment in Braintree by then, it'll be easier to get together. Hopefully I'll hear from him tonight, but if he did get the apartment, he was going to be moving tonight and tomorrow (another reason why I think tomorrow night might be shaky). Either way, I know I'll see him again soon. He's an awesome guy. Even if it doesn't turn into a romantic relationship, I'm hoping we can become good friends. I need a couple of those in my life these days. This past year is probably the first ever that I haven't had a specific "best" friend, and it's an odd sensation not to have that shoulder that I know I can definitely lean on. Barb, one of my ex-workmates/casual friends who has moved to Florida, calls them "Growing Pains." Ugh. Whatever this sensation is, it sucks. But the loneliness tonight is tempered by the climate outside. Mild nights like these put me in a relaxed mood, and I try to take advantage of them with meditation and some ritual work here and there. My place is still a disaster, so the space is kinda limited for that tonight. I did promise a friend to do some spellwork for him, though... so I'll get to work on that soon. I linked up my new homepage to this one finally. There's still not a lot at my envy.nu site, but it'll get there over time. Feel free to pop over there if you're reading, and please drop me a line in the guestbook... I've heard from a few people after my social phobia entry from a couple days ago. It was nice to hear back from folks and know I'm not alone, particularly in having such a difficult anxiety phobia. Those of you who have emailed... thank you. Seriously. The words of encouragement and inspiration help me feel a lot better about the chances of me beating this thing. Having said that, I'm going to sign off and enjoy the evening... and give Colley some more attention since he's sitting here whining. 'Night... -Mel. 9:12 p.m. - 6 June 2001 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||