measi's Diaryland Diary

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apathy and the status quo

A brief discussion of the concept of "We'll see what happens," a phrase I keep hearing lately, and the ways I interpret it.

It could be meant in an optimistic way if there are qualifications. These qualifications include things such as "I didn't realize this bothered you so much." "I'm aware of the problem and will try to fix it." "While I don't agree with you, we need to try something different." It's a matter of compromising with the person who you have problems with. Optimism only comes from action... and success can only come from optimism. Without the desire to change, there is no effort. Without the effort, there is no action. Without action, it leads back into apathy--the lack of caring. With the apathy comes the destruction of friendship.

It could be meant in a negative way if there are qualifications. These qualifications include things such as "You're overexaggerating this. You just need to cool off." "You're wrong." "The problem is your perception." "This always leads back to the same old thing you've done before." "You're asking for exclusivity." These are again actions, but descructive ones. They are lying the blame on the other person. These types of actions brush all of the responsibility off the speaker's shoulders in an attempt to place it on the listener. Perhaps not intentional, but it is a way of attempting to escape responsibility. The anger and resentment that build from this again destruct the friendship from the inside out.

Then there is the non-committal "We'll see" without qualifications. It is one of apathy, of not caring either way. It is a refusal to make efforts, to attempt change, to show emotion. It is merely keeping with the status quo, where no differences can or will ever be made because the effort is not there. It is a non-answer, wasted breath that only stands to ignore the situation and shelf it indefinitely.

A friendship cannot be grown and cultivated on apathy. It requires the effort of showing love toward another person. Not just telling them. Friendships don't come to a person. They happen because people go out to each other.

--Mel.

10:55 a.m. - 1 May 2001

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