measi's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Back home.. I returned yesterday to Boston. I'm glad to be back to my life so I can start living again and sort through my feelings in the environment I need to incorporate them. I love my mom, I love visiting her, but the constant surrounding of family over the last few days got to be a bit overwhelming after a while. I understand it's necessary, though, as part of the initial grief process. It was just that my brain wanted me to start working through things, and I didn't feel like I could while in Pennsylvania. I am doing okay overall. I haven't had a fallout realization about things yet-- I still keep feeling like she's going to call me up and tell me it was all a dream this past week. I've had some little teary spots, usually as I'm trying to fall asleep. But for the most part, I'm doing okay. I know I'll be okay. On Wednesday, my brother and I took a little day trip down to Reading to visit my paternal grandmother, Grandma Lillian. We chatted a lot about life, how we're feeing about Grandma Mary's death, and I talked a lot with her about stuff with my dad. She's asked my permission to allude to things I've talked with her about, so she can give him a swift kick in the ass. What really floored her was how my father-- who had been married to my mother for 20 years-- didn't send flowers, cards, or anything to my grandparents, my mother, or my brother and I about Grandma's death. LGM says Dad's digging his own grave. So today I'm trying to just recoup, regroup, and feel like myself again... ~ Mel. 11:13 a.m. - 22 August 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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