measi's Diaryland Diary

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Home... but not

The flights yesterday were busy, but went just fine. I hate the new security system. I felt like a convict going through there. It was making me so nervous that I didn't stop trembling for about forty-five minutes after the ordeal.

Nothing too major happened to me, either. I had to take off my shoes to go through the metal detector. I set it off because of my jaw. I explained what it was, and then I had to walk through an X-ray machine so they could see them. They tested my laptop. But somewhere deep down inside, I just had a primal fear trembling that wouldn't stop. Then stupidly I had a cup of coffee, which woke me up AND had me trembling.

*sigh*

Other than the security thing, the flights were just fine.

Coming home, however, has been somewhat along the lines of what I expected.

Starting with sleeping arrangements.

I don't get to sleep in my own fucking room. Because it's Anne's sitting room now. Even though my bed is still in there, I don't get to sleep in there. Instead, I'm sleeping in my brother's room, which I've never done before in my life.

Not to mention that the whole house has a creeping feeling of forboding that makes me a bit nervous. If I didn't know better, I wouldn't believe that this was the house I grew up in. It doesn't feel like it anymore.

Emily, my stepsister, is also here for the holidays. And this morning she went with Anne to work, and my dad headed over to his office. Thankfully I have a car here at home so I can go wander around town.

Hopefully that campy New Age store is still downtown-- maybe I can pick up some blessing salts and cleanse this place. If nothing else, my room needs to be resealed against this woman.

It's my room, dammit.

~ Mel.

9:59 a.m. - 23 December 2002

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