measi's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- For Erich Hello my love~ A year ago today, I was sitting here at work, anxious much like I am now, to meet you after work. I found it hard to concentrate because I knew I was going to be making a huge step in only a few hours, meeting someone I'd only chatted with a few times over the Internet. I had half-convinced myself it wasn't going to work out, maybe because of how I looked, maybe because I was such a geek. Half of the day, I was telling myself that I was crazy for going to meet you. I mean-- how safe is meeting people you've just talked to over the Internet. But I knew I had to take the plunge, and despite being scared out of my wits, I made that walk to the plaza in front of the John Hancock tower. I have to admit, I was horrendously nervous that entire time, hoping that I wasn't talking too much (I'm sure I was), hoping I didn't make a fool out of myself. But either you didn't notice, or you did and said nothing. It made me relax a bit more for our second date, when I made my unceremonious plunk down in the Public Gardens and twisted my ankle. No man I'd dated before would have been willing to get me home safely like that, with the amount of protesting I was doing. I'll admit now-- I was in serious pain. But dammed if I was going to let you know that. :) At the time, I thought it would be something that would send you running to the hills-- she's a freak, I tell ya... she manages to fall down and twist her ankle on flat ground!! Since that oh-so-clumsy night, where I think the ice was broken, I've never questioned if it had been a good thing taking that walk to the Hancock Tower to meet you. Sure, we've had a bit of tension here and there-- over sex, over past relationship history, the occasional gaming spat... but we always manage to talk about things and get them out in the open, rather than bottle them up inside. I've never been able to do that with anyone before. I now know it's okay-- you've helped me so much with my ability to communicate my feelings. Those bad times are few and far between, mostly because we talk about anything that comes up, and compromises don't need to happen. I know I respect your opinion, and I feel that you always respect mine-- even if we don't agree. For the past year that you've been in my life, I've never felt happier. I'm not lonely anymore. I don't feel left out. I don't feel unwelcome. I feel loved, and it's a beautiful feeling. I love the fact that we laugh so much. My mother has often said that one of the most important parts in a relationship is that you laugh together. I thought she was off on that, but I know she's right. I love the fact that we're able to go into the greasy pubs like the Pour House and have just as good of a time as we do at more expensive places like Fire + Ice. I love the fact that you are adventurous and want to experience life. We have fun. We go out and have a good time, without feeling the need to do the showy, expensive things to do so. The day we went to Sleepy Hollow Cemetary and wandered around is still one of my fondest memories of the past year. I love that other than on rare occasions where you need to be with the guys, you want to include me on everything. And we accept that we both have different hobbies, just as we have similar ones. Even if you are terrified of my addiction to postal mail, it seems that you're slightly amused as well. I love that you want to cuddle and just curl up and relax sometimes, even if nothing sexual happens. I love how amused you get at the weird little mutterings I do instinctively when you tickle me. I love that you not only tolerate but love having cats around. I love the fact that you enjoy and celebrate being a geek, whether it be gaming, going to Arisia, hanging out in bookstores, or just being whacky. And the fact that you enjoy having a girlfriend who does the same. Ultimately, I love you for all that you are. I hope that today is just a milestone in a long path together. You have brought such joy to my life this past year, and I hope that I have been able to reciprocate the same, despite my awkwardness. Happy Anniversary, Erich. I love you. ~ Melissa 9:55 a.m. - 31 May 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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